• Marieska Luzada

a moment of introspection pt. 1

on the move from eight to midnight,

no place for me to stop,

no chance to exhale.


class after class,

meeting after meeting,

i try to stay awake

until i click the red button

after saying

the only two words

that leave my mouth for the meeting’s duration:

“thank you.”


from the rise of the sun,

till my head hits the pillow,

i am never alone.


people surrounding me,

from strangers to the best of friends,

asking to hang out,

to have dinner,

to stroll around the city paths,

twenty-four seven

and i can’t seem to breathe.


i know i’m tired,

i know i’m exhausted,

i know i’m not fine,

but i can’t look like a fool,

so the smile stays plastered

because that translates to,

“everything is fine.”


all this time

i’ve been alive

without actually living.


marieska do this,

marieska do that,


many things i have done,

have been done for the validation from

and the satisfaction for

those around me


how can i live

if i don’t even know myself?


when will i begin

to know who

i

really am?


-


a plane and four finals later,

i wake up alone.

nothing to do,

no one to see.


i look in the mirror.


who am i?


Read more about Marieska here

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